a mo'fucking christmas miracle

so the other day, my mom opens the guest room closet just the teensiest bit to look for the christmas tree skirt (which we apparently lost mysteriously at some point during the year). i peeked my head around the corner, attempting to be helpful but instead--

OMG MOM THAT PLAID COAT GIMME IT MUST TRY ON NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEASE

mom is all nonchalant-- oooh. this old thing? i found it second hand but i neeeeever wear iiiiiit.

i slip it on squealing and i do a little jig *teeee hee hee hee hee plaidy plaid*

despite my embarrassing behaviour, mom has changed her tune and thinks i look quite dashing in the coat. something about how i'm basically the most fashionablest.

my mom took this one ^^, which is why i'm standing in front of a curio cabinet with houseplants behind me.

brrrrr. its cold in here. (something something something in the atmosphere *high kick*)

HOLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay so on top of this coat being basically the hippest and raddest of all coats in this plaid-crazy day and age...this is the label:



yes. this is a CARIBOU COAT FOR CANADA'S NORTH. make no mistake, ladies and gents! this is a gen-u-wine JP Hammill and Son all the way from Guelph! the height of canadian couture!

****** BREAKING NEWS******

i am getting a new brand new fancy camera so soon my pictures won't be the worst. i'll even get a certain life partner of mine to take them so i won't have to be all myspace taking pictures in the mirror. HOT BUTTER.

yeller jeans (up high in banana treee)

oh yeller jeans. i love you deeply.

i don't have a picture of my own yeller jeans, because i'm at my parents house right now in my old room from high school which is painted red. you'd be surprised how hard it is (for someone with no photography skills) to take nice pictures in a red room. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED.

(be surprised now)

so this is a random adorable girl who lives on the internet wearing her yeller jeans.


these might be ralph lauren. i don't care because i'm bad at blogging about fashion. my yeller jeans may or may not be from stitches. they look exactly the same.

you might be thinking: i know this girl who writes these words and while her jeans may look the same as this cute blonde girl, that is about the only thing the same about their appearances, esp. in the hipsassthighcalves(c)ankles region.

you are a pretty mean friend, is what i think back to that!

I JEST.

srsly though. i am not stupid, and will probs always wear a long top with my yeller jeans. so everyone doesn't have to look at my big yeller ass. i am always thinking of these tricks!


i have bigger breasts than that cute blonde girl.

walmart: evil or evil AND the best.

okay so normally, i will not post anything here that i bought new, but sometimes i do buy things new and occasionally they are as rad as this.

so. my mom wanted to pick me up some pj pants for christmas, and, because she hates shopping, she wanted me to pick them out myself. so i'm looking through the absolutely destroyed sleepwear section of walmart that is full of xxs and 3xl sized pj pants and i found this treasure:



I'M BATGIRL. *SHHHHH*




anyways, it was seven dollars. it is under the label 'gotham girls' i guess for the new cartoon, which i clearly must watch.

i went back to see if there were any other styles, like poison ivy or catwoman, but there were none :(

i also found out that this is a pajama top. dude.

these are a few of my newy-est things.

so i had a dental surgery consultation the other day (booooooo). but i had some time to kill before hand and there was a value village across the street so my mumly and i checked it out (yaaaaaaaaay).

so no one told me that value village is expensive because they organize the shoes by sizes and generally don't have total crap. whatever. i forgive you all. here is what i gots.

exhibit a) a knitted toque that matches my purple and gold WESC headphones PERFECT.




pics with the headphones to follow when i am less lazy and maybe showered.

exhibit b) this great bracelet which many would find hideous but i think is the coolest piece of jewellery i own. it jingles a lot which i am not used to.



yes, those are leaves and little plastic balls rest in the grooves on the leaves. the leaves are complemented by long tooth-like plastic beauties.



wo--oo--aa--ooh EXTREME CLOSE UP.

exihibt c) the best exhibit. vintage 80s canadian made COUGARS.



these scuffed up boots fit my feet like a dream. as if someone had already walked in them for over 20 years just so that by the time i wore them, it would be canadian-made magic.



the cougar logo reminds me of rocky and bullwinkle



it's starting to almost kinda feel like real winter here in the big city, and my feet have been super toasty every time i wear these out. for boots older than me, that's pretty much the best. the real test will be when i take them up north, eh? for the holidays.

i have faith.

value village ftw.

amirite?

a night at the roxton (ha. ha.)

So the other night, I was invited out to The Roxton for a friend of a friend's birthday. I wasn't planning on wearing anything particularly neat or interesting, but when I threw on a tee shirt and jeans my boyfriend said "....is THAT what you're wearing?"

So I said FUCK YOU NO IT ISN'T. I mean please this is bloor and ossington we're talking about. Hipsters live there now, gotta step it up.

So I remembered the last time I went to Goodwill (surprise, surprise) and I found these amazing curtains from some fly kid's bedroom. I said I MUST HAVE and bought them for three bucks. I gotta admit, I don't have a before picture (although I have lots of material left over) because I was hella drunk when I put this together. It's lucky took pictures at all.



So yeah. I just cut a long strip of these curtains, threw 'em around me, knotted it a few times because it was too long, and tied a pretty bow. Then fastened it all temporarily with paper clips (for reals, it stayed together fine the whole night even).



On my arms I am wearing American Apparel Thigh High Socks if you can believe it. Ladeez, this is what they look like when they FIT. Which apparently only happens when your thighs are zombie thin. Mine aren't. They look like hell on my thighs, but awesome on my arms, so I figure that's a good compromise.

Basically, when I am drunk sometimes I can make cute things from fly things.